The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for crot caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, crot she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokeh or bokeh sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokeh it all makes scientific sense. bokeh It confirms what most women know and crot all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, crot you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokep there’s sex as porn performance art, porn and crot sex as genuine intimacy. And bokeh when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for crot a fragile male ego, memek she’s far more likely to memek gently sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, memek female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, porn they’d explain, memek so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while crot conserving their energy for bokeh other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokeh ‘manipulation’, bokep and bokeh that women were prone to what they described as bokep ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, memek so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: memek ‘I’m enjoying this, memek but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, crot where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in bokep 2014 after bokeh neighbours complained that her sexual yowling porn drowned out their TVs: crot ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what bokeh you should be doing.’

Well, bokep only if you crot want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, memek Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and porn Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, memek I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, porn then men should take heed: memek the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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