The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept porn awake all night by a woman in a nearby bokep room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for crot caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokeh she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokep or bokeh crot sex worker.

Now, bokep according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, porn it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other porn words, bokep you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, bokep and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a bokeh woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and bokeh is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely to gently sigh and memek moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, porn female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional memek basis, porn they’d explain, bokep so they could porn make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for porn other porn tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and porn ‘manipulation’, bokep and porn that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing bokep line, crot so to speak.

A new bokep study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, crot the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: memek ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokep ladies?

The only other reason to bokeh screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, memek where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland bokep said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her crot sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: memek ‘As far memek as I’m concerned, porn that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, memek only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, crot Christopher Ryan and memek Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn I can bokeh understand porn the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokep then men should take heed: bokep the best sex may bokep just be the quietest.

Paris

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